Trying to change people … such an illusory … stupid …

useless … ridiculous habit  by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru I always try to change people. In fact … it’s like a hobby. And … the worst is that i do it …

illusory ... stupid

useless … ridiculous habit  by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru

I always try to change people.

In fact … it’s like a hobby.

And … the worst is that i do it … mainly with the ones that are closer to me.

I … simple … can’t stop myself.

… believing it is a positive thing … all what i am doing.

Later on … seeing how i totally ruin my vibes …. explaining on and on and on and on … i realise i had become like an old grandma … saying the same things 1 million times.

I actually understand …. I am … ridiculous.

And … i do that non stop.

It’s actually … like my main … occupation … behaving like being paid with a huge amount of money for doing it.

But the passing of time … made me realise … with huge disappointment … that all those stupid trends for changing people … was useless.

Unfortunately … i could not stop myself.

So … I’ve continued.

On … and on and on.

Explaining … everyday.

Even … losing my temper.

I knew that all that was repetitive was karmic … but i could not understand if i was karmic for them …. or they were karmic for me.

All was … unclear.

Meanwhile … i was acting into the same way.

It was absolutely … no change into my behaviour.

I didn’t …. wanted.

… believing it is the best i can do.

So … i was continuing playing the role of the … old grandmother … which couldn’t stop giving advices.

Trying to tell people … how they must change … and …

In fact … it was always … a long speech … but no one was listening to me.

Somehow … they all realised that i lost control on myself … trying to control the behaviour of everyone from the stage of my life.

It was like … i was playing a role into a non ending charade.

… adoring doing it … even if it was ruining my vibes.

The question remained … when i was going to stop myself?

Well … maybe never.

I was … ridiculous … in continuous form … and i did absolutely nothing to stop myself doing it.

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