useless … ridiculous habit by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
I always try to change people.
In fact … it’s like a hobby.
And … the worst is that i do it … mainly with the ones that are closer to me.
I … simple … can’t stop myself.
… believing it is a positive thing … all what i am doing.
Later on … seeing how i totally ruin my vibes …. explaining on and on and on and on … i realise i had become like an old grandma … saying the same things 1 million times.
I actually understand …. I am … ridiculous.
And … i do that non stop.
It’s actually … like my main … occupation … behaving like being paid with a huge amount of money for doing it.
But the passing of time … made me realise … with huge disappointment … that all those stupid trends for changing people … was useless.
Unfortunately … i could not stop myself.
So … I’ve continued.
On … and on and on.
Explaining … everyday.
Even … losing my temper.
I knew that all that was repetitive was karmic … but i could not understand if i was karmic for them …. or they were karmic for me.
All was … unclear.
Meanwhile … i was acting into the same way.
It was absolutely … no change into my behaviour.
I didn’t …. wanted.
… believing it is the best i can do.
So … i was continuing playing the role of the … old grandmother … which couldn’t stop giving advices.
Trying to tell people … how they must change … and …
In fact … it was always … a long speech … but no one was listening to me.
Somehow … they all realised that i lost control on myself … trying to control the behaviour of everyone from the stage of my life.
It was like … i was playing a role into a non ending charade.
… adoring doing it … even if it was ruining my vibes.
The question remained … when i was going to stop myself?
Well … maybe never.
I was … ridiculous … in continuous form … and i did absolutely nothing to stop myself doing it.
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spiritual & philosophical essay” written by the writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.
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